HTTC and HCC Press Release: "We Will Fulfill Jesus' Prophecies"

The Holier Than Thou Congregation and Hyper Conservative Congregation today issued joint press release in which they claimed they were working to fulfill Jesus' prophecies in these important times. Specifically this election cycle.

"We have been hard at work for many years making sure we fulfill Jesus' prophecy that the prostitutes and other sinners get in to the Kingdom of Heaven before we do, see Matthew 21:31.

"We have traveled over land and sea, and in our own country, to convert people to be twice as much children of hell as we are, see Matthew 23:15.

"Even though Jesus advised us to calmly talk to sinners and ignore sinners who don't agree with us, we ignore Jesus and do our best to browbeat every one who doesn't agree with us, as well as legislate our beliefs on to everyone, see Matthew 18:15-17.

"This election cycle is no different, we must do everything we can to cast our enemies in a bad light, no matter what. We don't care if we have to lie, slander, libel, or provide misleading information. We demand our will be done here on earth, since it is not in heaven.

"Our own feelings of righteous superiority demand we can't be humble. We will continue to demand sacrifices from you and not show you mercy, or treat you like we would like to be treated.

"We will strain out gnats, we will decorate the graves of the prophets and righteous.

"We overlook the sins of those higher on the ladder than us, but we're quick to denounce those lower than us.

"It is remarkably important we overlook the logs in our own eyes while we claw at the specks in others' eyes to get rid of them."