This fake news just in.

"Spreading the Wealth" Outlawed

In response to many religious leaders' decrying "spreading the wealth," the government declared that there should be no more spreading the wealth.

From this point forward, no one will be allowed to give money, or anything, to religious institutions. Religious institutions will only be able to gain money from earning it.

Corporate overlords rejoiced in the demise of another "thorn in their side, religious organizations."

"By not allowing citizens to spread their wealth to religious institutions, this will cement our grip on society. This will also seriously curtail those religious kooks from giving things away. Can anything be more absurd?! Giving things away for free?!"

Last Minute Lobbying

Legislation was passed that makes it illegal to give away even 1 slice of bread. However, due to last minute wrangling and lobbying from the Humongous Management-only Organizations (HMOs) and drug companies an exception was put in place to allow the giving of sugary, fatty, and overly processed foods.

Another last minute provision included allowing spreading wealth from the corporate overlords to politicians.

Penalties

Included in the legislation were provisions that anyone not reporting their donations and what they donated, would be fined ten times the value of the donated item(s) and they should be given back to the company that produced it, for resale.

"Those religious nuts have a saying, 'Give to caesar what belongs to caesar,' this will insure we get our due. How dare they give away our stuff to someone who didn't pay for it!

"We didn't gain control of the world by giving things away. Those religious nuts were seriously undermining our ability make a profit from the downtrodden. Those religious nuts were seriously undermining our ability to exalt ourselves by tossing crumbs to those not as great as us.

"Everyone knows that homeless people are just lazy.

"And it shouldn't be too long before we can totally wipe out those religious kooks. We can't believe every day isn't a work day! 'Day of rest,' what hogwash."