This fake news just in!
The Devil was recently awarded quite a few honors in recognition of Evil®©(SM)(Patent Pending). The Devil, who also is known by some other names including Satan, Prince of Darkness, Prince of the World, Prince of the Underworld, the accuser, and some other names he has currently chosen not to secure protection on, was proud to announce his most recent victory.
"I am scorched to announce that the governments and people of the world have acknowledged my claim to Evil®©(SM)(Patent Pending). Starting today I am beginning legal proceedings through some of my children to extract everything due to me," the Devil announced during his press conference.
When asked why the Devil was awarded such far-reaching legal protection on his claim to Evil®©(SM)(Patent Pending), the governments of the world replied, "We just used Jesus' own words to render our decision.
"If you check the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 22, verse 21, you will clearly see that Jesus said we are to give to God what belongs to God, and to Caesar what is Caesar's. We interpret this to include letting the Devil lay claim to what is rightfully his, namely, Evil®©(SM)(Patent Pending)."
With a loud cackle and hideous laughter the Devil began his response to the question of how he is going to enforce his claims. After two straight blood curdling minutes of laughing all he said is, "you'll see."
Outside the press conference people from all nations and belief systems gathered to protest.
One shouted, "I am going to continue to do Evil®©(SM)(Patent Pending) and not pay the Devil one thin dime! While it's true I've gained my money through oppression, bribing government officials, clever contracts and fine print, and monopolizing the marketplace as best I can, the Devil can GO TO HELL!"
Other groups of people gathered together and joined in the protest, but they passed out "tracts," small religious pamphlets. A religious believer calmly stated, "all of this is foretold in prophecy, you can read it for yourself in the Bible."
A government spokesperson said, "We are glad to be working with the Devil. The Devil has been most helpful to government (and business) in the obfuscation of laws (and policies) we lord over our fellow countrymen as we take away their (formerly inalienable) rights. This can be easily seen from the saying 'the Devil is in the details' and a close reading of any of our myriad of Byzantine laws, forms, and instructions that accompany those forms, in triplicate.
"You can tell how important we are by the fact that even our smallest of laws dwarfs the Bible in terms of words used, pages printed, trees cut down to publish them, and average syllables per word and syllables per sentence.
"Just by the mere fact of reading this you are agreeing to everything we say, everything we have said, and everything we will say.
"Have a nice day!"