In general I'd say I try to find things in common with folks I talk to. Conversations and relationships tend to go much better when there is common ground.
I would also like to say I think most people have more things in common than they have as differences. I believe this is thinking from a mostly objective and physical standpoint.
Obvious Realities
Don't most of us want to eat every day, most of us depend on oxygen to breathe, most of us are covered with skin and have two eyes and lots of similar body parts inside and out. Each person's DNA is remarkably similar to each others scientists say; they add our DNA and various other species are also remarkably similar.
I could go on with similarities but instead I will stop and hope I've made my point correctly and succinctly.
One Big Happy Family?
However, obviously humans don't act as one big happy family for some reason! Um, reasons.
For the time being I'm not going to go off on a tangent. That's a whole other post, aaa, at least one more post. :-) So, even though I voted the top vote, I do both, I do spend some time trying to figure out why there are significant differences in what people believe, think, what they consider valuable, how they act towards each other, etc...
But most of the time I try to learn our similarities. Or at least that's what I like to believe! :-)
In addition to seeking common ground in conversation, I do also find myself seeking and speaking our differences at times. I find that seeking differences can help me to understand the other person, our relationship, and what I stand to learn. Also, giving voice to some differences may help to put us at ease about them and create an atmosphere where we can interact comfortably. Talking about differences may allow me to express understanding toward the other, and may enrich our conversation by bringing this topc into the conversation or making it a context that shapes our understanding of the ideas being expressed. Overall, I find myself seeking a certain mixture of commonality and difference that keeps things interesting while avoiding hostility.
It also sounds like many people you talk with are accepting, and readily acknowledge that differences can be a matter of taste, or aren't worth getting in to a "convert or kill" offensive position over.
I also agree with your perspective that learning about differences can be fun. It can also help one feel at peace, ironically. For example, if the other person seems to be a "yes man", and only agrees with you, about everything, and loves everything you love, etc... it can leave one wondering "what kind of game is being played?" It also helps provide more possible conversation topics, and opportunities to learn.
I mainly thought of this poll topic since I visited someone who seemed to dwell only on trying to figure out where we disagreed, no matter how small, then harp on it. It was my way of "getting even". (Hangs head in embarrassment.)
Comments
NewOldSalt
Sun, Feb 25, 2007 - 4:31 pm
Permalink
In General
In general I'd say I try to find things in common with folks I talk to. Conversations and relationships tend to go much better when there is common ground.
I would also like to say I think most people have more things in common than they have as differences. I believe this is thinking from a mostly objective and physical standpoint.
Obvious Realities
Don't most of us want to eat every day, most of us depend on oxygen to breathe, most of us are covered with skin and have two eyes and lots of similar body parts inside and out. Each person's DNA is remarkably similar to each others scientists say; they add our DNA and various other species are also remarkably similar.
I could go on with similarities but instead I will stop and hope I've made my point correctly and succinctly.
One Big Happy Family?
However, obviously humans don't act as one big happy family for some reason! Um, reasons.
For the time being I'm not going to go off on a tangent. That's a whole other post, aaa, at least one more post. :-) So, even though I voted the top vote, I do both, I do spend some time trying to figure out why there are significant differences in what people believe, think, what they consider valuable, how they act towards each other, etc...
But most of the time I try to learn our similarities. Or at least that's what I like to believe! :-)
plantpuppy
Tue, Jul 3, 2007 - 1:53 pm
Permalink
poll: seek commonalities or differences?
In addition to seeking common ground in conversation, I do also find myself seeking and speaking our differences at times. I find that seeking differences can help me to understand the other person, our relationship, and what I stand to learn. Also, giving voice to some differences may help to put us at ease about them and create an atmosphere where we can interact comfortably. Talking about differences may allow me to express understanding toward the other, and may enrich our conversation by bringing this topc into the conversation or making it a context that shapes our understanding of the ideas being expressed. Overall, I find myself seeking a certain mixture of commonality and difference that keeps things interesting while avoiding hostility.
NewOldSalt
Tue, Jul 3, 2007 - 10:25 pm
Permalink
Good Answer
You have a very advanced perspective on this.
Avoiding hostility, I find, is a good idea. :-)
It also sounds like many people you talk with are accepting, and readily acknowledge that differences can be a matter of taste, or aren't worth getting in to a "convert or kill" offensive position over.
I also agree with your perspective that learning about differences can be fun. It can also help one feel at peace, ironically. For example, if the other person seems to be a "yes man", and only agrees with you, about everything, and loves everything you love, etc... it can leave one wondering "what kind of game is being played?" It also helps provide more possible conversation topics, and opportunities to learn.
I mainly thought of this poll topic since I visited someone who seemed to dwell only on trying to figure out where we disagreed, no matter how small, then harp on it. It was my way of "getting even". (Hangs head in embarrassment.)