It was heartening to learn of a positive turn of events in a case of a junior high school student who wore a kilt to school but was insulted by an authority who said he looked like a cross-dresser.

Even though it was in Utah, by “cross-dresser” it did not mean someone who was decorating a religious symbol.

You can read the story at the Standard.net: Kilt creates a stir, then an educational opportunity.

I gotta say I’ve been in more than a few buildings and places, and sure wished I was wearing a kilt (cotton vs. wool though). Instead the stupid dress code called for circulation-choking pants, circulation-choking long-sleeve shirts, and circulation-choking neck ties.

Man it’ll be great to get out from under the curse of the self-righteous overlords who have to drape and hide themselves under bolts and bolts of cloth. I’m certainly not advocating for nudism or anything near that, but “business attire” is ridiculous in many places. It’s like they’re saying, “let’s ignore the reality that it’s hot outside, and dress like it’s frigid, and in the mean time we’ll turn the AC on full-blast and create global warming so that it’ll be even hotter outside!”

In an modern twist on the ancient Greek comedy “Lysistrata,” written by the playwright Aristophanes, women in Kenya have decided to deny sex to their mates until political differences are resolved.

Here is a link to an article about it at CNN.
“Kenyan women ban sex over political reform”
http://www.CNN.com/2009/WORLD/africa/04/30/kenya.sex.ban/index.html

This sad, real, and ironic-sounding news just in!

Madoff made off!!!

Sinkin sinking!!!

Please pray for them.

Amen.

News from PBS

This fake news just in.

"Spreading the Wealth" Outlawed

In response to many religious leaders' decrying "spreading the wealth," the government declared that there should be no more spreading the wealth.

From this point forward, no one will be allowed to give money, or anything, to religious institutions. Religious institutions will only be able to gain money from earning it.

Corporate overlords rejoiced in the demise of another "thorn in their side, religious organizations."

"By not allowing citizens to spread their wealth to religious institutions, this will cement our grip on society. This will also seriously curtail those religious kooks from giving things away. Can anything be more absurd?! Giving things away for free?!"

Last Minute Lobbying

Legislation was passed that makes it illegal to give away even 1 slice of bread. However, due to last minute wrangling and lobbying from the Humongous Management-only Organizations (HMOs) and drug companies an exception was put in place to allow the giving of sugary, fatty, and overly processed foods.

Another last minute provision included allowing spreading wealth from the corporate overlords to politicians.

Headlines grab your attention!

Ok, it's not really a furrowed brow. And I know that's a weak pun.

• And I don't really hold any "skinhead" philosophies.
• And I grew my hair back, so I look (more or less) normal now.
• And I'm only one person, so it's more like "Former Baldy for Barack."

This fake news just in!

The Devil was recently awarded quite a few honors in recognition of Evil®©(SM)(Patent Pending). The Devil, who also is known by some other names including Satan, Prince of Darkness, Prince of the World, Prince of the Underworld, the accuser, and some other names he has currently chosen not to secure protection on, was proud to announce his most recent victory.

"I am scorched to announce that the governments and people of the world have acknowledged my claim to Evil®©(SM)(Patent Pending). Starting today I am beginning legal proceedings through some of my children to extract everything due to me," the Devil announced during his press conference.

This ancient news just in!

Jesus Christ was highly criticized by his opponents for his past associations with anti-social scum of the earth.

"Associates with Scum"

The Holier Than Thou Congregation (whose membership overlaps somewhat with the Hyper Conservative Congregation, press release) pointed out that many, many, many people Jesus spoke with, hung out with, ate and drank with, touched, and formed various other associations with, were scum bags.

"How can a guy who thinks he's Holy go around with such scum?" one angry person proclaimed.

"If this man were really a prophet, he would know the woman who is touching him is an awful sinner!" another religious person chimed in.

At a recent "I Hate Jesus" rally the foment was palpable.

Some people chanted, "We hate Jews." But they were quickly whisked away.

Other people cried out, "He can't hold a job! HE HAS NO JOB! He just goes around mooching off of others!"

High Priest Wannabe, "Yeshua is a Coward and Traitor"

An unidentified source told us one of the people vying to be the next High Priest said, "We need a High Priest who will attack the Romans like a pit bull. This Yeshua character must be a coward and a traitor since he only talks about 'love' and helping our enemies!

"What kind of traitor prays for one's enemies?! What kind of traitor does good to one's enemies?!

"If a person doesn't praise our High Priest with lavish laudations it must surely mean he doesn't support the troops, the Zealots, and wishes defeat on us all."

"Failed Community Organizer"

Another esteemed leader had harsh words for Jesus, "He is just a failed community organizer. I mean, have you seen the ramshackle and ragamuffin crowds that follow him like he's some kind of Messiah?

"Both men and women follow him like a little puppy, all googley-eyed, and hanging on his every word.

"But at the same time, Yeshua says such crazy things that many of his followers often become former-followers, that is, when they finally get to know the 'real' Yeshua and see and smell the few followers he does have. Ha ha.

"Clearly it shows Yeshua has no sense at all with regard to community organizing.

"And did I mention that ALL of his followers are SINNERS!?"

"Anti Family Values Rhetoric"

Yet another Jesus detractor told us about Jesus' "anti-family values" rhetoric. The detractor, who wished to remain anonymous due to unconstitutional and illegal surveillance methods, informed us, "This Jesus kook said that he came to bring division to each family. He said he would cause 'fathers to be against sons, mothers to be against daughters' and other sayings indicative of being against family values.

"Clearly Yeshua is against our very dear family values since he is obviously not married and he has no children. Why just take a look at his life, he just wanders around, homeless, and sponges off of others!

"It may be he has many lovers in many towns. He sure makes the rounds; he goes all over Israel, spends some time here, goes over there, and hangs out (with sinners), then makes his way someplace else. I bet he has dozens of lovers.

"In fact, we have witnesses who say they've seen women, and men, make certain kinds of advances towards him. But he must know we're watching, because he has turned down, quite tactfully, every one of them.

"He even stopped the stoning of a woman caught in the act of adultery! A home-wrecker! Then he said he didn't condemn her!

"Surely this man is against our lovely family values. It couldn't be any more clear."

This fake news just in!

After learning every Alaskan receives a check for a sum of money, every year from the state government from a fund on the proceeds to the sale of oil (Wikipedia, State of Alaska Permanent Fund Dividend Division, Alaska Permanent Fund Corporation, Earth Rights Institute, Detroit News, Google Search), the rest of the United States of America said, "Why aren't we receiving a check too? Isn't Alaska part of the USA? It's only fair that we receive a share as well!" (2008-09-11 Numbers)

So legislation was passed, assuring that every US citizen would be the recipient of the financial gains from the sale of resources gained from within public land, any public land any where in the USA.

Enraged Alaskans responded, "This could seriously decrease the money every one of us gets each year.

"We are saddened by this clear power grab by the greedy citizens of the USA, our former brothers.

"We can no longer tolerate this outrage. We are officially seceding from the USA today, with retroactive effect back to whenever we declare, and we'll be sending you a bill to refund us our misappropriated income taxes for all those years."

Russian Response, Swift and Crushing

Showing support, the Russian Ambassador to Alaska affirmed it had moved battle ships, planes, and tanks to come to the aid of Alaska, "should the rest of the USA—which, as you know, is nowhere near Alaska—foolishly try to prevent Alaskans from gaining the freedom they deserve.

"Not only is Alaska closer to Russia than to those imperialists capitalist pigs, Alaska has been little more than an oppressed and malnourished colony. We join with our Alaskan comrades and will support them every way we can in their fight for freedom from oppression.

"I have been waving to Comrade Sister President Palin, in Alaska, for years. "

Said the ambassador's aide, "When you compare the beautiful name of Russia with glorious name of Alaska, you will hear that it has so much more in common than 'Massachusetts', or 'Washington', or 'Kentucky', or any of the other multitudinous occupied territories of the imperialist capitalist pigs."

The aide added, "Don't forget our conflict with our neighbor Georgia."

Obviously this puts Vice-Presidential hopeful, Governor Sarah Palin in an interesting situation, our embedded reporters will be following closely.

2008-11-04 Update - Campaigning for Office of the United States President was interrupted today by Election Day, the actual day to vote! This seems to have temporarily defused this potentially combustive international incident.

2008-12-18 Update - This journalist, now writing, believes President Elect Obama should and will attempt to reach out in friendship, versus adversarially to Russia.

Lucy
Hey Charlie Brown. I am here again to let you give the football a kick.

I'll set it up for you so you can kick it out of the park! It'll be sweet.

Charlie Brown
That's not what you've done in the past!

This Fake News Just In!

The "I Hate Religion So Much It Is A Religion" Coalition, (or IHRSMIIARC for short), announced the banishment of "The 10 Commandments" from public spaces.

They stood outside the Supreme Court of Craziness and proclaimed it was a victory for "law", a victory for everyone with a mind too big to hold such a simple set of rules, a victory for the separation of state and church.

The 10 Commandments will be removed from the front of every government office and public place. Monuments to greed, selfishness, and the intentional confusion and entrapment of others will be erected instead.

Every government office and public space will now have the complete tax code carved in stone, out front.

Teamwork Beats Competition!

The irony! There was a competition between teamwork and competition, and teamwork won! I compared, contrasted, and analyzed both teamwork and competition, and found that teamwork is better. (Please note this essay is about the larger aspects of society, not about sports. Although I must admit my favorite sport is frisbee, just plain throwing it for fun! Call me Ferdinand the Bull if you like! :-)

I wish other folks would realize that teamwork is better than competition.

Even in the face of failure, teamwork is best: finger pointing is laid to rest, and attention turns to lessons learned!

Leaders recognize that teamwork promotes positive actions. Here is my attempt to define teamwork.

Teamwork is the process of using your resources in tune with others. So the ongoing and end results are significantly better than the sum of accomplishments of the individuals.

Leaders know that competition is going to creep in and that you can't seem to get rid of it. But teamwork must take precedence. Teamwork should receive superior lip-service as well as real service.

This Fake News Just In!

Members of the Hyper Conservative Congregation voted today to reject the use of "fake" and "old mythical gods' names (with a lower case 'g')" for daily use of the names of the days.

Said one member, "We do not worship Thor, or the sun, or Odin, we will no longer call our days by their names!"

Starting today the HCC members are going to only use, what they claim to be the original, names of the days based on what was created during that day in the book of Genesis.

Even though they have made this bold move, they are not unanimous in the exact word for the name of each day, except for the very first day.